Helpful or Hurtful?

It’s in my DNA to try to always ‘help’. Whether it’s my family, or my friends, or myself. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it makes things worse. My heart is in the right place and so are my intentions so I don’t know why sometimes things just go awry instead of the way it should. Or the way I want it to.

I guess the answer is life or free will or I’m to pushy or controlling or whatever. But I swear my heart is trying to do the right thing for whomever is involved. I guess I have to learn that I cannot control everything that I see, or am a part of. I cannot worry so much. I cannot be so hard on myself. I make mistakes, I screw up, but I also do good and am positive 98% of the time.

Back in 2003 I started my ‘self-love journey’ I’ll call it. I left my now ex-husband and I had to learn who the heck I was, what the heck I wanted and how the heck I was going to achieve all that. It was a very difficult time for me. I spent an entire three years spiraling out of control and learning how to be in control for the first time in my life. Sometimes I think I did too good a job on the ‘be in control’ part. I spent those years learning who I was again and how to deal with conflict in a healthy way. I pulled my hair out and fought myself and those around me and learned to manage those dark feelings of insecurity and helplessness, yet sometimes they creep back in for a spell. I realized I was a strong woman who was in control of her life. But that backfires sometimes when I don’t remember that I’m not in control, and don’t need to be in control of, EVERYTHING that happens during the day.

I still have difficulties navigating the waters sometimes. This week has been a hard week for me. I got another year older, which I don’t actually care about, but my birthday always reminds me that my father died exactly two weeks after my 22nd birthday. That was 24 years ago and it still affects me. I love my Dad, how could it not? It’s easier throughout the year, but April 11th and Easter Sunday aren’t my favorite days. It’s been a hard week because I fell off the wagon a bit on my Weight Watchers program and I’ve gained 1.5# since Tuesday and it’s only Friday. I feel like crap physically because of it though I’m back on track, but I’m also disappointed in myself for falling. I’m only human so I’m not that hard on myself for it, but I’ve got to get past it completely. It’s been a hard week because I was just too emotional and it causes friction with those I love. I apologized and they love me so they understand, but I still feel bad about it.

There was a line in the movie ‘Pretty Woman’ where Vivian said, “The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?” Not sure why our brains or our hearts do this to us. Cruel joke I guess.

So today, I’m navigating the waters. Good thing I know how to swim.

 

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My Journey to a Healthier Me – Day 20

Been a few days since I posted. This past week following my program has been a bit challenging for me. I’ve been yo-yoing with losing a pound, gaining it back, losing it again, gaining a half pound back. I’ve also started feeling the challenges with not eating the snacks I’d like to, or drinking sweet tea instead of water. But I’m sticking to my program and I’m doing pretty good. I know that I lost a ton of weight my first two weeks and I know that I’m only supposed to lose 1#-2# per week to maintain a healthy weight loss. It’s just a little hard to not keep seeing losses on the scale.

I thought for sure I’d be down a pound this morning, instead I was up a half a pound. It’s an easy program to follow, but it can be hard to fight cravings. I try to stay busy and not give in to cravings. Last night I had to eat at least 12 more points before I went to bed. I wanted an orange, but that’s zero points so I ate some fruit snacks instead. Maybe that’s why I’m up the half pound?

Maybe I need to eat my snacks a little earlier in the evening and not wait so long at night to eat. Maybe I need to hit the treadmill more than once a week. I’m still figuring it all out. This is a lifetime change for me. This is about finding out what foods work well with my metabolism and which ones don’t.

I feel much better since I started Weight Watchers. I feel more confident in my skin, I feel sexier, I feel lighter and I like how my clothes are fitting better. But I have a long way to go. This isn’t a quick fix. I’ve got to remember it took me 5 months to lose 31 pounds back in 2003 when I first tried Weight Watchers. This doesn’t happen overnight. Stay the course.

Small, smart choices + consistency + time = radical difference.

I’ve kept that saying on my computer screen for the past two years. I’ve got to keep it in my mind.

~Ramble On

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My Journey to a Healthier Me – Day 9

Sorry I skipped blogging on the weekend. Pretty busy so I’ll catch you up now.

Saturday I was a points hoarder and I earned beaucoup fit points (53FP for the week that I can pull from but won’t!!). I even had pizza Friday night with a little bit of blue cheese. I had saved enough points for pizza but after I ate it, I felt like crap. I should’ve only had one square piece of pizza instead of two. Just because I saved enough points for it doesn’t mean I have to eat it. Next Friday, I’ll have just one piece.

Saturday we had a gig down at the Seneca Allegany Casino so I worked my a** off onstage (literally). Had so much fun! I went to bed 6 SP under my total. I just couldn’t eat anymore!

Yesterday, Sunday, was my first official weigh in with Weight Watchers. I was pretty excited because I knew I did pretty well my first week, but I was curious as to how their scale would read versus my work scale. My first WW weigh in was 5# lost in one week!! Woo Hoo!!!

This morning I hopped on my work scale again, (yes I weigh myself every day except Saturday, it keeps me on track) and I’m down yet another pound! I had lost 3# before I joined WW so my total lost is now 9# in just 2 weeks!! I love this program and I love how I’m feeling even more! The only problem I’ve noticed is that my pants are getting baggy and I love having that problem! 

If you’re in doubt about getting your health back and wonder if Weight Watchers really works, please know that if you follow the program IT REALLY WORKS!! It’s super easy to follow since NOTHING is off limits so long as you count it. I can’t wait to do my before & after pictures!!

Here’s to a healthier 2017!! #weightwatcherskicksass

Ramble On!

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My Journey to a Healthier Me – Day 6

So yesterday I lost another 1.5 to make my total up until that point, 4.9# in 5 days. Woo Hoo! I love it! I didn’t get back on to blog my food for the rest of the day so I’ll do that now before I get to the beginning of Day 6.

Yesterday I started my morning with my chocolate vegan/vanilla Shakeology made with 20oz of water for 4SP.I love my Shakeology and if you’re interested in trying it visit Beach Body for more info. Then I had another yummy lunch yesterday made with the Fit & Active Flatbread multi-grain w/flax (I’m going to have to stock up on these, they’re so good!). These wraps are pretty big and only 2sp. I put 5 slices of Aldi’s turkey on it, mustard and lettuce and wrapped her up like a burrito. A healthy burrito! Topped it off with an apple, dill pickles and carrots and my entire lunch was only 4SP. Filled me up good until dinner time.

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For dinner we had skinless, boneless chicken breasts seasoned, steamed broccoli and baked potatoes. I had 5oz of chicken, 1 cup of broccoli and a baked potato topped with 2tbsp of tostitos medium cheese sauce and 2tbsp of sour cream (total guilty pleasure right there!). My dinner was 10SP and boy was I full and satisfied! I never remember to take a picture of my dinner. I’ll work on that!

This left me with 12SP for the evening. I had to do a little grocery shopping so I took this time by myself to scan a ton of items to see if they were something I’d add into my meal plans. I’m pretty sure people thought I was goofy or something, but I didn’t really care. I care about my health so I’m going to scan items before I buy them. I ended up getting more fruits and even some Cooking Light Popcorn which I can eat 3-1/2 cups for 5SP.  I need a crunchy snack every now and again. Who doesn’t?

My snack last night was one of my favorites! Pizza! (If you’d like the recipe, click here). This time Mark and Luke both made their pizzas using the Fit & Active wraps as well, but they rolled theirs up instead of leaving them flat like mine. Mark liked his, Luke was a little on the fence, but said it was alright. He’s 18 and loves pizza so I wasn’t sure if he’d like it or not. I used one serving of the mozzarella cheese this time so my pizza was 9SP instead of 11SP like last time. This left me going to bed with 3SP left over and that’s still within my WW range. I need to be within 3SP, either under or over (using weekly SP if over).

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This morning I weighed myself, not sure if I’d lose because of eating pizza at 9:30pm last night, but I weighed myself anyway. It keeps me on track to weigh myself every day. I’m that kind of person. Today, I’m down another 0.5# for a total of 5.4# in 6 days on Weight Watchers!! I’m so happy! I know every week isn’t going to be this way as I should only lose 1-2# per week on the norm, but starting out my body is adjusting to the change in food and amount of food I’m eating.

A light switched for me this morning after weighing myself. I realized that I used to eat a lot of food just because I was bored. Now I eat every couple hours, but I’m eating better foods so it’s not bloating me up with sugars and calories. Weight Watchers is a program that works if you work it. This is my second time on the program. The first time was back in 2003 and I lost 31# in 5 months time. Life happened and I gained the weight back but at 45 years old I’m making a life change this time around. This isn’t to say that I’m not going to eat regular pizza cause I sure am! Tonight in fact. Friday is pizza night in our home and if I need to dip into my weekly SP then I will. I have them for a reason. Plus eating healthy during my morning and afternoon will allot me high points for dinner.

I’m really enjoying blogging about my weight loss journey. It helps me stay on track. It helps hold me accountable. It helps me share what works for me and that may work for you if you’re looking to lose weight and get healthy too. I may ramble a bit but that’s ok.

~Ramble On!

 

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My Journey to a Healthier Me – Day 5

It’s only 10:15am on Day 5 of my WW program but I couldn’t wait until later to post.

If you read my previous blog posts you’ll know that yesterday I went over my daily SP and dipped into my weekly SP. I was curious to see how that would play out on the scale this morning. The day before I didn’t lose anything and I was UNDER my SP for that day. But, you don’t lose weight every day. You should lose between 1-2# weekly. Since this is my first week, I’ve already lost more than I thought I would the entire week with it only being day 5.

So I get to work and deposit my purse, food and jacket onto my desk then I make my way out into the shop to weigh myself. I don’t care if any of the guys see me do it. I’ve got nothing to hide.

I stepped onto the scale thinking that I felt thinner and I thought I looked thinner in the bathroom mirror this morning so I was curious if it’d show in my numbers. Sure enough it did! I lost another 1.5# for a grand total of 4.9# lost since Sunday!!! When I told Mark this, he said I’d lost almost as much as his youngest son weighed when he was born. Great way to put it into perspective I think.

This day has started off pretty good!

#rockinweightwatchers

 

 

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My Journey to a Healthier Me – Day 4

So, working on losing weight is opening me up to eating new foods. Foods that I’m finding I really like! I’ve had salmon twice this week (dinner then lunch – thank you Mark!). Today for lunch I made a wrap using one (1) Fit & Active Flatbread multi-grain w/flax (DEE-liciousness and doesn’t leave me bloated like bread) and I spread a half can of tuna made with miracle whip (2 tbsp) on it, added some lettuce and 1/8 cup (that took will-power!) of shredded extra sharp cheese on it and rolled it up like a burrito. I savored every bite! That’ll be on my lunch menu again for sure! Then I ate some carrots and the sweetest apple I’ve ever had.

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I’m eating healthy, getting full and NOT feeling bloated in the process. 8 point lunch but next time I’ll use less miracle whip. WHY did I wait so long????

I finished lunch with a sweet dessert of pink grapefruit – no sugar was sprinkled on top. Just natures sweetness was enjoyed. My favorite part is squeezing the juice from the grapefruit rind and drinking it. Nothing goes to waste!

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For dinner, we had bone in pork chops with shake n bake. You’d think this would be a high point protein but it wasn’t – only 3 SP for a 4 ounce pork chop and only 1 SP for the shake n bake. We paired this with some creamy pesto bowtie pasta (I had 1/4 cup of pasta for total 2 SP) and a vegetable mix of broccoli, carrots and cauliflower (0 SP). My entire dinner was only 6 SP. I was left with 8 points for my evening snack and boy did I use all of them!

On potato chips. Salt and vinegar potato chips to be exact. I’m not perfect! I love them.

I counted the chips to match my points left and enjoyed them a little too much. 🙂 Then, since I’d been fighting off a migraine since the previous Friday, I had another snack.  Yes, I was out of my daily points at this point and I ate more.

Let me explain. I get 30 SP (smart points) per day. I also get 35 weekly SP to use if I go over or we go out to dinner. I wasn’t going to touch them, but last night I had to. I spent 2 SP on a WW chocolate caramel mini bar and it sure doesn’t taste like it’s low fat, lemme tell ya! YUM!

We shall see what tomorrows weigh in brings me. You’re really not supposed to weigh yourself every day but I do. At work on our huge scale nonetheless. It’s a certified scale so I know it’s accurate. Weighing myself every day helps me stay on track and to learn from the prior days results.

I’ll let you know how it goes!

 

 

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Great Weight Watchers Pizza Recipe

We had one of my favorite dinners tonight, chicken souvlaki! Since my entire dinner was only 6 points, I had a bunch of points (14) left over for a snack. I made this delicious (really delicious!!) pizza tonight as my snack. I can’t believe I STILL have points leftover! The entire thing was 11 points but that’s only because I doubled up on the mozzarella portion size. Had I only used 1 portion of cheese instead of two, it’d only have been 9 points. Could have shared half but then I’d be left with 5 more points to eat tonight instead of 3. Yummiliciousness!! #weightwatchers

Homemade WW Pizza – 11 points as made below

*1 – Fit & Active flatbread multi-grain w/flax = 2 points
*12pcs – Mama Pozzi’s turkey pepperoni = 1 point
*1/2 cup (2 servings) – Happy Farms low moisture part skim shredded mozzarella cheese = 5 points (you can use 1 serving of 1/4 cup for 3 points)
*1/2 cup – great value spaghetti sauce = 3 points (I like a saucy pizza)

Place flatbread on lined cookie sheet and cover with sauce. Sprinkle 1/4 cup cheese then place the 12pcs pepperoni evenly spaced. Top with additional 1/4 cup (IF you choose to use an extra serving). Broil in oven until edges and pepperoni start to crisp and cheese is melty. Cut into 4 pieces. Each piece is 2.75 points if you decide to share. Enjoy!

 

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I seriously love this flatbread! I’ve had one every day this weekend they’re only 2SP on WW! (knife in photo is for size reference only)

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I used 2 servings of low moisture part skim mozzarella because I’m addicted to cheese!

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Pizza is probably my favorite food. This was absolutely DEE-licious! Very thin crust but I don’t mind that. I ate it with a fork.

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